Thursday, 12 July 2012

End of an Era...

Hey, I see my blog as a diary that more people have access to than me, so I wanted to share with you. Here is my testimony. I can't share my excitement without first detailing my struggle. There werent enough words for a tweet or a status which is why I kept so quiet, but here it is..

One of the most significant periods in my life were these three years I spent at University and I just want to thank God that he pulled me through. Coming to Uni I feel like, was one of the most confusing periods in my life. In my family I was always labelled as the 'smart' one which put immense pressure on my shoulders, I always felt like I had to do and be better from when I was in primary school. My year 9 SATS I got level 7's and one level 6, my GCSE's I got all A's and B's and one C.... Now A Levels came and words cannot describe the way I struggled. My first year was one of the most difficult times of my life, I was 18 and my step dad who had been a father figure for my whole life was diagnosed with cancer (my mums husband and my two younger brothers dad. I'm 21. My brothers are 18 and 17 so you can see that my stepdad has been my dad for the whole of my life), I think he was in hospital for 7 months, I'm not too sure now. It was so hard for me, I really didn't know how to cope and I didn't know who to tell so I just kept quiet. The way I felt inside reflected in all the work I was producing and with that I did really bad in my AS exams.

Still, I didnt tell anyone, and its the summer I got my results back that was the summer he finally passed away, it really felt like a double blow but I thought to myself, I am not going to use his death as an excuse for me to not achieve in life, so I picked myself up and carried on. I didn't tell any of my teachers because I refused that his death would be used as a scapegoat. In my second year, I retook 4 AS exams whilst doing doing the work for my A2. I got AAAB, I was so happy, but juggling my AS levels with my A2's affected my final result and I didn't leave college with what I was supposed to. I also didn't get into my first choice of Uni. So I came to the University of Kent feeling defeated and like a failure. I kept myself to myself, didn't make any friends and I just stayed at home. I was getting mediocre grades in my first year too because of the negative mentality that followed me to university and I just felt like I can really NOT be bothered.

I'm sure you know by now but when I first started University I wanted to work in the United Nations, my plan was to come to University, study Criminology and Social Policy, graduate, work in the Home Office for some time, do my Masters and then work in the United Nations. Here is where the confusion comes in, I then decided I wanted to do PR or Journalism so along the way I did various Internships such as London Fashion Week, Vivienne  Westwood, Goldie London and so forth, I loved it, but then I loved what I was studying too. I just did not have any direction. I think part of the reason I tried to turn my hobby into a career because I had no faith that I would do well in my degree. But still I continued. In my second and third year I actually had to pick myself up and be like, Rami what are you doing!? God helps those who help themselves so when I started to make more of an effort, I saw an incline in my grades.

    1st Year

2nd Year

3rd Year

I feel like I've grown and changed so much in the past three years and I just thank God I didn't get into my first choice Uni which was Leicester. I thank God he brought me here and I thank God I did it. I have had so much fun and met so many amazing people, you will not understand.
I'm really private with the grades I get, you'll never see them up on my Facebook/Twitter or Instagram but as you can tell through this whole post you can see that I've decided to open up to you, mainly to give thanks to God and to share my own little testimony and secondly, maybe because I can help someone reading this who may feel lost and defeated right now... I was there! But there is  light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you, you need to just lift up your lantern and keep walking you'll get there. For that reason, I've decided to share with you the readers of my blog who mean so much to me and have been following me here and for the past few years on my Tumblr, my degree results.

I got a 2:1 overall and a 1st Class in my Dissertation

 I'm just so happy that i produced my OWN independent research, setting my own goals and aims within the time period that was set to us and I got the highest grade possible... I thank God.
My dissertation meant so much to me, I tried so hard and I struggled (as you can see below loooool), my laptop broke in at the end of April when my deadline was May10th so I literally had to live in the library, but who knows, maybe God wanted it this way, I may not have focused had I stayed at home to do work.

And do you know why this is God? Because today, of all days... I graduated on my late dads birthday! He was definitely there with me! He talked so much about this day and now I know he was definitely there in spirit!

I hope I touched someone xxxx



  1. Omgsh this is motivation at it's best! Congratulations! and you look amazinggggggg at your graduation!

    Nay :)

  2. this has inspired me to push on i'm tsrating my a-levels next year and i can tell how proud of yourself you are for achieving what you have and its made me want that for myself so thankyou!
    and many great things to come in the future for you!

  3. Ur Post really touched me. I´m in Uni since last October and because i´m still so young everybody believes that she has to be better than the others but not knowing they are making pressure through that. U post just really really inspired me. Thanks so much. May the Lord continue to guide and guard you as you continue to succeed

  4. I've just found your blog through Instagram and I am so glad I have. You are such a strong person and such an inspiration, congratulations on your amazing degree and I honestly wish you all the best with whatever it is you chose to do with your life :-) May God continue to find favour in you and help you reach your destiny! You really have shown that all things are possible for those who believe!
    Lots of love xoxo

  5. loveee thisss
    Life is a struggle but I loved I thing you said GOD HELPS THOSE THAT HELPS THEMSELEVE!!!!
    and congratzzz too!!

  6. THANKS GUYS! you are ALL amazing <3

  7. wow, not only do you look gorgeous on graduation. But you've really blossomed. I'm in a very similar situation to where you were a few years ago. I scraped into university after having amazing grades up until A-levels, but things just weren't going my way. I buried myself in sadness and defeat. I'm still struggling to get out, but blogging is helping me release some stress and making new friends this year is great, it seems the course is becoming more natural.
    I just hope this stays at the same level as you have done, I really want to get the best grades I can.
    I'm sure your whole family is proud of you and that is such an amazing yet relatable story. It's really touched me. I thought I'd have to have been reading your blog for a while to understand, but I got it completely. Thank you so much for sharing, I really, really appreciate it.

    Good luck with all your future plans.

    Erica xo

  8. God bless you darling and all the best with your future endeavours! So sorry I've just seen this x

  9. God bless you darling and all the best with your future endeavours! So sorry I've just seen this x

  10. I just stumbled across this and I always look for blog on my sundays to just read when am not struggling or worrying about uni. I am so happy for you this is such an inspiring post. Can't wait to write my graduation post =)


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